Office Versus Shawshank Prison- Its Redemtion time

(Its something I wrote 2 years back after a pretty screwed up day at office. Its nothing but my version of office life compared to one of my all time favourite movie- 
The Shawshank Redemption.. :P )

Life is like they take you for life and in the course they take your life away. The outer world seem alien to u.Its like you are here for a while and that’s a thought that just stay for a while.Its more of a prison  than a beautiful world I would have ever dreamt of.I hated it.I didn’t wanted to get into it.Tried to have bare minimum communication with everyone but in course of 2 years suddenly I have developed love for my work.I have started looking a life in here.I have started loving part of my job.Then I think why the hell it is so.Because I know I cant survive in the outer world anymore.coz I know the world around has changed in multidudal pace.I am no more required there.I fear that world, more than I feared myself here ever.I am nothing outside at this point of day while here I might be thought of as a learned man.I might have created a niche for myself here but, in that world I know I don’t stand.on’t stand a chance even to survive.

Some times when I see the things around here I feel like changing them.Sometimes with a simple smile, sometimes with a little politics, sometimes I feel like it has changed a bit but most of the times I understand that this rock is too hard to push.Its stuck there.But ultimately the system has diluted me, my agonies, my fear, my pains,my dreams, everything that was there in me.I have started loving this loneliness.This emptiness makes me work better.I dont feel that urge to communicate with the outer world that often and most of the time feel like dodging it off. Sometimes by words that can make people off from me, sometimes by a bit of mockery, Sometimes by just saying or doing silly things. Because I want everyone outside to hate me before I again start loving myself.coz I just wanna stay with the system and for that I want only this system to be there who can take care of me.Nothing else comes and goes by my side.I hope that hope don’t stay by my side anymore because hope is a dangerous thing and that can make me go insane.Hope can only make me remeber those good times I cannot get.Hope can only make me chase dreams that I can only chase but not cherish.Then I think why I have been here.Just to chase few dreams , dreams that made me chasing dreams that were never mine and when I see things around here I feel no one is innocent around here..A breed of highly qualified intellectuals who are worse than crooks and politicians when it comes to playing foul games and doing politics.Every time a new one comes to this circus with dreams. I see him entering with an enthusiasm to do something to change the world around him and soon I see him being a part of the system.He is doing all, what he hated.He starts  working on the same lines as his peers were. 1^st he dreams of changing it and then consequently it changes him.I too feel sometimes I am not a god damn loser.Although I realize it everytime I see myself in front of mirror with open eyes.The time here is slow and I can see I need something to go on.Sometimes it is long lost thngs I have been passionate about,sometimes its that craziness that keeps me alive,Sometimes when people from the other world came in here or I interact with some damn old people I knew from past .They say u r still amazing, you can be out.That world has too much to offer to you.Again I will think about realizing my dreams,again that wind will become a whirlwind,again I will start seeing those agonies fails. I will try to take a ounce of fresh air in my breath. Try looking at the greener side of things but this system will cling me again.It will make me feel what you are here, you cannot be in outer world.It will make me realize that all those things I see like opportunities and possibilities are nothing but a mirage.Its not there.I am here the best.Will make me again stick to it, Will make  me realize that I cant be anywhere else here.This world dont want me to get out coz everyone here has been bound by chains and they don’t want to see a link go lose breaking this chain. That’s sheer politics I know and I am the victim.An open book has closed.I am getting up the ladder myself.I have been a murderer and I am now paying up for this and the one whom I muredered is no one else than myself.And I know and I realize that I cant make it to the outside anymore as the me in myself is dead long back. I do have long nights.Sometimes so long to make me realize its dawn after dusk and I didn’t realized it happen.Nights which are dark enough to soak all the tears I shed, Nights that are long enough to be termed never ending.

But the truth is that I know this is what all the outer world knows about this place.I know when I will cease this darkenss and it wont prevail.I will make the world realize some day that some birds are not meant to be caged and they will fly away as the time comes.Hope is a good thing may be the best of thing….